San Antonio HamsSan Antonio Area Hams Operator


Serving the Amateur Radio Community
in San Antonio and South Central Texas
since 2003

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Ham Humor

As we stumble across some Trivia or Ham related humor, we'll post some of the better items on this page. Feel free to submit your candidates for inclusion to the webmaster via email. We hope that you enjoy our offerings below.

The Ham Band - Music Video - Why Not Become A Ham?

Tuxedo Singing HamWant to know another reason why you ought to get a ham license, listen to Andrew Huddleston, OZ1XJ, on top of their 100 foot tower singing the song. His wife Lissa Ladefoged is really up at 66 feet singing the harmony vocal.

OZ5E is the club callsign of the station owned by Jan OZ1ADL and Andrew OZ1XJ. The station is located in central Denmark on Jan’s farm In January 2005 the worst storm for 5 years damaged their main HF antenna so they replaced it with a 4 element SteppIR. The picture shows the SteppIR at 100 feet and you will see the full size 3 element 40 metre yagi at 66 feet when you watch the video..

To watch video, click on image to the left, or click here.

This Real Player video is about four and a half minutes long, broad band connection recommended. Real Player needed to view it. To see their page, click here. There are some more songs on “The Ham Band” page by Andrew and Lissa (shown in photo to the left). Video was shot in Denmark. The audio track is in English, written in a country western style..

Jay Leno Show - Ham CW versus Text Messaging Contest

We moved this news item from 2005 back to the Humor Page due to it being so funny to watch. - Lee N5NTG

May 13, 2005 - CW Ops Whip Whippersnapper Text Messengers on National Television

Chip-KenNEWINGTON, CT, May 16, 2005--It might have been Friday the Thirteenth, but it was a lucky day for Morse code--and particularly for veteran CW contest ops Chip Margelli, K7JA, and Ken Miller, K6CTW. During a May 13 appearance on NBC's The Tonight Show with Jay Leno, the pair was able to pass a message using good old fashioned Morse code more rapidly than a pair of teenaged text messengers equipped with modern cell phones. The victory, which replicated a similar challenge that took place recently in Australia, has provided immense encouragement to Amateur Radio's community of CW operators, who've been ballyhooing the achievement all over the Internet. The text messaging team consisted of world text-messaging champ Ben Cook of Utah and his friend Jason. We don't normally print news of a non-local nature, but this one was so wild that we had to include it. Click here to view 8mb audio/video clip in Windows Media Format only.

See the full story at ARRL's web site by clicking on this link. Photo and News info provided courtesy of ARRL.

Alphalpha Repeater Group - St. Petersburg, FL

While following some Internet breadcrumbs one evening looking for hurricane related ham sites, we stumbled across the Alphalpha Repeater Group's web site. Their logo caught my eye immediately and then I noticed to links they had on their page to some MP3 and Windows Media Player files. Their Technical Page has lots of usefull info, which will be soon linked on's TIPS and Antenna pages. We have received permission from this group to cross post with credit given.

Listen to their group's theme song here (MP3 format) . "The Alphalpha Theme Song" musical arrangement and production by Dean Fernald. Lyrics by Chris Alphalpha. (c) Alphalpha Music 2006.

Watch a demonstration of what happens if all hell breaks loose at a utility power transformer station. This Video file is in Windows Media Player format.

Tactical J-Pole Antenna w/extra instructions

I had a group of local San Antonio hams send me this funny "how to" article back in late 2005 about how they built their Tactical J-Pole antenna out of PVC pipes, wire, etc. I'm not sure how they stayed sober while doing this, but perhaps they had a "designated ham" to stay sober to verify their measurements before cutting or soldering. The design was based on one that has been around for awhile, one that our local antenna guru W2IK has used as the basis for some of his own custom designed antennas, and thus one that you will see featured on our antenna pages elsewhere on this site. In fact, this article (PDF) was edited by W2IK.

Seriously, this is actually a decent design for such an antenna with explicit directions, if you excuse the expressed need for the builders to keep "lubricating non-antenna parts" (i.e. the hams building the antenna) of the construction. That extra lubrication humor is what caused us to include this PDF on our list of Ham Humor / Trivia, rather than on the Antenna pages where we might just go ahead and add it anyway.. Full story can be downloaded in PDF format (243kb) here, complete with graphics and diagrams.

Just to give you a sample, here is the list of parts included from this 4 page PDF.

“16 minutes from storage and transit to sixteen feet and ready to transmit”
Shopping List
  • 10 foot section 3-inch rigid PVC
  • 10 foot section one-inch rigid PVC
  • 10 foot section 3/4-inch rigid PVC
  • 10 foot section 1/2-inch rigid PVC
  • 4 – 3-inch PVC caps
  • 2 – 3-inch PVC T’s (reducing to 1 1/2-inch)
  • 2 – 1 1/2-inch (reducing to 3/4-inch) PVC couplers
  • 1 – one-inch PVC “T”
  • 1 – one-inch female screw (PVC) connector
  • 1 – one-inch male screw (PVC) connector
  • 1 – one-inch to 3/4-inch (reducing) female screw (PVC) connector
  • 1 – 3/4-inch to 1/2-inch (reducing) female screw (PVC) connector
  • 1 – 1/2-inch male screw (PVC) connector
  • 1 – small can of PVC cement
  • 1 – assorted length bungee cord package
  • 24 – 12-ounce cans of beer (chilled) - For lubrication purposes only
  • 50 feet of parachute cord
  • 40 feet of RG8X (mini) coaxial cable
  • 1 – SO-239 Chassis Coax Connector
  • 2 – PL-259 connectors
  • 2 – PL-259 RG8X (mini)inserts UG-176
  • 15 feet 300 ohm TV antenna twin-lead wire (twice as much as you’ll need)

  Download Original
  PDF Here

You Might Be A Ham!Carved Ham
by Tom Wedding, AI4QP

  1. If your wife calls and asks you to bring home a ham and you show up with one of your radio friends... you might be a ham!
  2. If you go canoeing with your buddies they ask you to bring the paddles and you show up with your Vibroplex... you might be a ham!
  3. If the phone rings and you answer this is AI4QP over... you might be a ham!
  4. If your back yard looks like and aluminum Porcupine... you might be a ham!
  5. If you have to explain to your spouse that a Hamfest is not a barbecue... you might be a ham!
  6. If your car has more than two antennas on it... you might be a ham!
  7. If you are asked to show two pieces of I.D. and you present a copy of your Amateur License and your ARRL card... you might be a ham!
  8. If you are afraid to pull into a parking garage because of antennas on your roof... you might be a ham!
  9. If someone asks you what your favorite radio station is and you say W1AW... you might be a ham!
  10. If you go to a boxing match and they start talking about fists and you bring up the fact that you just got your keynote... you might be a ham.
  11. When the guys at the marina talk about their Chriscraft and you bring up your Cushcraft... you might be a ham!
  12. If your wife tells you she would like a Diamond for Christmas and you give her an antenna or a really good ARRL're in some deep trouble!!!!!

Original Source of this entry found at


The sunspots were roaring and the Old Dxer was working DX night and day.
The faithful XYL had had it with his QRZing and blew her stack.
"DX DX DX - thats all you ever think about!" she groaned
"Why I'll bet you don't even remember our wedding date!!

"I mostly certainly do" was the immediate reply.
"It was June 14th, 1958 - Thats the night I worked
the XT1, the CRØ, and the AC6!! -- By AC6V

The scenario -- VP6DI has been on the air for a few days and being a new DXCC entity, the whole world (plus a coupla of other worlds) is trying for a contact. Its early morning (1630Z) and Ducie has not made an appearance, the frequency at 21.295 MHz is dead quiet.

Green ArrowHello CQ CQ CQ here is W4OLDTIMER, calling CQ and tuning
Green ArrowW4OLDTIMER Here is VP6DI
Green ArrowVP6 didn't get the rest of the call -- guess you are in Bermuda, I'll turn the beam -- Handle here is Frank
Green ArrowWell Frank good to contact you - very good morning -- we are not on Bermuda, we are a DXpedition on Ducie Island
Green ArrowHMM Where is Ducie Island?
Green ArrowBABBLE GROUSE WHAT'S HE DOING ETC -- From The Anxious Mob Wanting Ducie
Green ArrowDucie is in The Pitcarin Group we are on a DXpedition
Green ArrowOh You are on Pitcarin -- let me turn the beam
Green ArrowWell Frank, I need to get on with today's DXpedition, with your kind permission, -- can I use the frequency?
Green ArrowOH Sure Thing Jim, I used to DX a bit
Green ArrowSIGNOFF VP6DI sez QRZ 300 to 310! The band explodes!

WELL DONE DUCIE -- A heart warming story as W4OLDTIMER is 96 Years old and after all it was his frequency!




--- AC6V


More Humor like this found at AC6V's web site

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